Excess baggage

Sometimes I feel a victim of Incest committed by her father, should never marry.  The baggage we carry is a very heavy load for a new couple.
Problems with intimacy is an understatement.
My husband and I talked about my issues.  Unfortunately, he had an ungodly  soul tie with my mother.  Sometimes my mother manipulated people to believe her realities.  In her reality I was a liar, drunkard, and trouble maker.  You bet I had a drinking problem.  I did not know how to cope with life.
My husband shared our issues with my mother and of course she told him I was a liar, drunkard and troublemaker.  One day he threw those words into my face.  Our trust was violated and as far as I was concerned, our marriage ended that day.  From then on..we went thru the motions...All the time I was humming Meatloaf's song..."Praying for the end of time...so I can end my time...with you..."